Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
is it fun? or sober?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
