don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
