You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize