in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
