It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
