Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
