Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
