when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
