He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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