Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
