She's JV to your varsity
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
