Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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