I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
