this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
