i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
