I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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