he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize