I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
