I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
