he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
