I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
