OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
