Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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