Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
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I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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