i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
