i just google imaged poop.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
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Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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