Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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