she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
