Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
