her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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