i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This is classic penis vs brain.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
