Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
