good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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