just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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