i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
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