Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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