dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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