its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
