Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
