Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We need to get me chipped asap
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