2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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