doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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