Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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