Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
