I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
