I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
