Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
