I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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