At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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