she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
bring money and cleavage
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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