I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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