yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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