Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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