I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize