Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
