I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
