..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she pinky promised me she was 18
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
