weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.