Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

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(773): My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it http://tfl.nu/4cmd

Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (861)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?

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(901): Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky? http://tfl.nu/axi1

Replies (30) Good night (664) Bad night (3595)
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(801): View more from Utah

I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.

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(801): I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight. http://tfl.nu/gp42

Replies (11) Good night (4613) Bad night (956)
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(214): View more from Texas

I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.

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(214): I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this. http://tfl.nu/iqku

Replies (46) Good night (6953) Bad night (576)
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(914): View more from New York

i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition

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(914): i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition http://tfl.nu/wv3s

Replies (10) Good night (592) Bad night (2416)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

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(978): so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call? http://tfl.nu/91ao

Replies (29) Good night (629) Bad night (7463)
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(801): View more from Utah

Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?

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(801): Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman? http://tfl.nu/4t4b

Replies (9) Good night (3643) Bad night (1069)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.

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(908): so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills. http://tfl.nu/ed0l

Replies (7) Good night (3017) Bad night (726)
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(516): View more from New York

drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries

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(516): drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries http://tfl.nu/4gv5

Replies (4) Good night (3006) Bad night (692)
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(954): View more from Florida

oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?

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(954): oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied? http://tfl.nu/xnft

Replies (22) Good night (1835) Bad night (1714)
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(213): View more from California

My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."

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(213): My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie." http://tfl.nu/jevy

Replies (38) Good night (3602) Bad night (678)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.

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(609): I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art. http://tfl.nu/g5lr

Replies (14) Good night (2176) Bad night (702)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.

(347): View more from New York

Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.

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(989): I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee. (347): Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly. http://tfl.nu/n2ti

Replies (2) Good night (757) Bad night (196)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!

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(306): he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!! http://tfl.nu/8dbb

Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (290)
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(314): View more from Missouri

He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

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(314): He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left. (1-314): So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home? http://tfl.nu/r5sj

Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (198)

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