I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start