Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now

(469): View more from Texas

Pride?

(214): View more from Texas

thats a pack of cougars

(469): View more from Texas

go fuck yourself

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(914): View more from New York

he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

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(519): View more from Ontario

We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(561): View more from Florida

A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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(408): View more from California

I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year

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(501): View more from Arkansas

You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.

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(563): View more from Iowa

He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"

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(828): View more from North Carolina

We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is

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