i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
