Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
