No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think weed is turning my hair brown
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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