I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize