I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
