Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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