you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The ass gains better be worth it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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