No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
