THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
