so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
